i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
