So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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