i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just puked most of my soul out..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize