I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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