I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
