those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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