i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
