I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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