So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
