If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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