NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
