Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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