Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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