This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
