My underwear smells like fireworks.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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