I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
