You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
