Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize