I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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