as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
