If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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