Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
FUCK WHALES
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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