that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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