It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize