At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
