yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize