It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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