She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Shame - the story of my life.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
