Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
