I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think my vagina is haunted
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
