do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
