you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
