I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
