i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
