i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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