no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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