I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
