the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
