Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
