The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize