Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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