I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
