So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
