This girl is more easily done than said...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
