Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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