it was like eating out sand paper
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
