I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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