i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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