franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
