Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
