It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
