That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
