thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
