i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
