Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
