Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
